As a mother, it is my desire for my child to be safe, happy and healthy. When dealing with food sensitivities, it’s less about the safety and more about the happy and healthy pieces. For parents that struggle with food allergies, there is a greater safety concern around food, but they too struggle with the happiness and health of their children.
My son, Nolan, is now three and if you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you know we have struggled with a laundry list of sensitivities. I am grateful that they are not allergies. I could only imagine the concern that would come with a burden like that. Our journey around food has been a new and challenging one for us, especially as he gets old enough to wonder why he is not allowed to eat certain foods. This is common with allergies or sensitivities, the feeling of being left out. Even as an adult, I have felt this way. In our situation with Nolan I started to share with him that we don’t eat that, because ‘it makes our tummy hurt’. It was the best way I could explain it for him. For kids with allergies it’s more dangerous, so finding the right wording they can understand, but not creating fear around food is a fine balance.
So what is a parent to do when sensitivities are enough to change the health of their child but not put them in danger? There is no easy answer, but we have developed a few strategies that have helped us. When you are at home, control can be easier. When it’s just parents and one kid, the simplest thing to do is plan family meals around the child’s need. This does require a little sacrifice on the part of the parents, but I have found this has been the best way to help avoid a stigma around food. There are still many times we may add something to our dinner and not to Nolan’s, which allows us to enjoy a wider range of food, but making it a smaller deal. Children do need to learn they can’t have everything others eat, so finding a symptom that they can identify with can really help. For Nolan, he understood quickly that some foods make his ‘tummy hurt’. This is the way he could identify foods that were not great for him. I was talking with my mom recently about my sister’s food restrictions when she was small, and the phrase my mom used was ‘that will make you feel itchy’ to help my sister as a small child stay away from foods that were not good for her. This came from my sister identifying how the food made her body feel.
Helping to keep your child’s diet clear from foods that make them not feel great takes extra work. One other strategy we use is preparing food to bring with us for events. It depends on the event, but we have found bringing favourites for Nolan to cover the foods he cannot eat helps to reduce meltdowns and have him not eat too much that he shouldn’t. Because all his issues are sensitivities, we still allow him to have small amounts of the foods he shows interest in. Just letting him know that we are just giving him small amounts to try since too much would ‘make his tummy hurt’. An example of this was we recently had a birthday for Nolan’s friend, and it was a pizza party. So we just packed him a sandwich for lunch, and as he asked to try a bite of pizza, we gave small bites, or pieces off our pizza, within reason. It worked out so well he didn’t even notice or ask for cake afterwards. Though, I’ve noticed that he is not a big super sweet fan, which is a great blessing.
Making changes to the whole family’s diet can be difficult. Start small, and make slow changes to make sure it can be sustainable. I found I could get away with separate meals until Nolan was about 16 months or so, then he started fussing if his meal looked different from mom and dad’s plate. Sacrifice is a big part of parenting, and we have noticed great changes in his attitude and overall wellbeing because of the changes we have made for his diet. I still work on trying to re-introduce foods from time to time, since most food sensitivities will change as children age, but it can be a slow process.
Hang in there parents! If you have specific struggles, please reach out and see if I might be able to help out. Even if it’s just to connect about how hard it can be.
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